I have often felt that envisioning something “better” was a burden. A silent poison that crept in and drove me into conflict with myself, with others, with Life. This relentless comparison between what is and what “should be” blinded me to what already existed. I lived under the weight of lack, tormented by a reality that never aligned with my ideal expectations, overwhelmed by an insatiable longing for perfection.
And yet, today I wonder: what if this ability to conceive is not a burden, but a gift? A gift that, if nurtured, can become a force that transforms, builds, and shapes the “better” lying dormant within us. Is it truly possible to embrace it without letting it turn into an obsession? Without losing sight of what already exists?
Dreams should not deny or replace reality; they should illuminate it. Every fragment of that “better” we envision can become a step toward something tangible.
We can continue to see the world through the lens of fear, perceiving every obstacle as a threat, every failure as condemnation, every mistake as proof of inadequacy.
Even awareness itself can become a weapon against me: “Ah, what a daunting realization, to discover how deeply ingrained this way of perceiving life is within me!” – and paradoxically, even this awareness ends up feeding into the same mindset.
Or we can choose to accept what is while keeping sight of what could be. Like a fragment of existence that consciously chooses to be part of something Greater, and for this very reason, it cannot be held within me.
But there is a voice inside me that sometimes warns me this second path is dangerous. That love is fragile, that hope is naive. A voice that hides behind apparent masks of wisdom, whispering that I should wait for the perfect moment, that I should explore every possibility before making a choice.
“You must explore everything first; you cannot make a hasty choice!” Every time I try to counter it, it withdraws, leaving me in doubt. Why this resistance? Perhaps because living in pain, in conflict, feels more familiar. A voice that, curiously, falls silent when I ask why it so easily lets me slip into fear and resentment.
I can allow the external “evil” to take hold of me, using it as fuel for fear, hatred, resentment, conflict. I can recreate it within me, feeding the same self-destructive emotions. It’s as if this way of being has become my very definition of existence, a way of experiencing and interpreting everything I encounter.
Or, I can choose to be inspired by possibility and by the appreciation and celebration of what already exists. And if I cannot find goodness outside, I can cultivate it within myself, radiating it outward.
Life often does not provide immediate answers. It pushes me to choose, to take a stance, and in doing so, to truly and fully recognize myself.
Taking it one step at a time, with a gentler approach to oneself, simplicity, and the courage to begin, this could be a path. Surrounding oneself with those who choose to see and bring beauty into the world, even while accepting the moments when they can’t, is another way.
It’s oddly easy to live with a sense of lack; living authentically is an incredibly challenging, fulfilling, and complex journey. Living authentically while accepting the existence of what doesn’t seem to make sense to us (and trying to change it when possible) is a new beginning.
Life: Precious Despite Everything
Unexpected events arise, difficulties are part of the journey. Why should I stop considering life precious just because it is not “perfect“? The value of life does not lie in the absence of problems but in the ability to find meaning, even when things do not go as I wish. I can choose to embrace gratitude and recognize that even suffering has its rightful place in human existence.
Each of us has our own path, our own way of embracing life. There is no single road; there are “many ways to approach life,” as Etty Hillesum said.
There is no definitive answer, at least, I haven’t found one. Have you?
